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Spring: The season of hope. Fresh starts, and new shoots.

Wed, 20 Mar 2024 11:56:34 GMT

Hello to Spring and goodbye to Winter

Of the four seasons, spring is most definitely my favourite of all. It is the wake-up call we all need after the darker and colder days of winter. Spring nestles between winter and summer and lasts for a 3-month period, March, April, and May. This year, in the northern hemisphere, spring will commence on 20th March.

The spring season brings with it optimism and hope, new beginnings, and increase in temperatures. The days are longer and brighter, we will hear birds singing their tunes again, and we can spend more time outdoors breathing in fresh air.

Spring symbolises transformations after months of colder weather and dormancy in gardens and parks. Flowers and shrubs come back to life, and bulbs spring back up from the ground. Animals come out of hibernation, and there are newborn chicks and lambs to bring joy to our souls. With more moisture in the air, our senses of smell are enhanced, and bright colours, budding trees and blooming bulbs give us a hit of dopamine, promoting happiness and the feelings of love within us.

Seasonal Affective Disorder

Throughout winter, some people suffer with the “winter blues”, a major depressive condition called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). This is due to a lack of sunlight, activity and fresh air, as well as a change in the circadian rhythm (sleep/wake cycle).

The condition leads to extremely low mood, fatigue, feelings of worthlessness, poor motivation, depression, and a loss of pleasure in normal everyday activities. This can increase our tendency to eat more comfort foods (often sugar-loaded), causing weight gain and sluggishness, which can then result in a lack of self-esteem.

It is estimated that 1-2% of the population will suffer with this condition and often if there is already poor mental health, it may worsen with SAD. It has also been suggested that there is a genetic component to this condition.

Seasonal Affective Disorder

If you or anyone you know does suffer with these symptoms, it may be beneficial to contact a GP who may suggest the following treatments to boost mood, increase motivation, and feel positive again:

Lifestyle: getting as much natural light as possible, exercising, and managing stress.
Light therapy: using a light box to stimulate exposure to sunlight.
Talking therapies: such as Counselling are hugely beneficial to provide support to help individuals to navigate each day. Explore the benefits of counselling here .
Medication: such as antidepressants.

How does Spring affect mood?

Moving into the spring season and being exposed to more sunlight releases serotonin (the happy hormone), which can heighten energy levels. This is also conducive to increased intimacy and sexual desire, which is why spring is sometimes referred to as the season of love. When our energy increases, we feel more like doing the things we love including increasing our exercise intake which overall improves our mood.

Just like the plants, trees and animals are attuned to the seasons, so are we!

When the trees wake up, their buds produce vibrant blooms of pink and white blossom, and we will see fragrant carpets of bulbs popping up everywhere to remind us of the ending of winter and the beginning of spring.

What can you do this spring to awaken your soul, boost your happiness, and chase away the winter blues?

Spend time outdoors: In whatever way you can! Going for a walk, taking deep breaths, gardening, planting a tree or litter picking are just a few suggestions.
Connect with nature: Listen to the birds, look out for blossom and bulbs, feed the ducks.
Start a new hobby or seasonal activity: when’s the last time you made a bird feeder or planned an easter egg hunt?
Mindfulness exercises to calm the nervous system
Spring clean

At Changing Seasons Counselling, you are in safe hands with Beverley Price . If you feel that you could benefit from support, please don’t hesitate to get in touch for a confidential discussion.

Friendship

Thu, 12 Jan 2023 12:43:26 GMT

How can I make friends?

I have often been asked by my clients how they can make friends. Until I became a Therapist, I had never had to consider the answer to this question; although, it was something that had presented itself in my own younger life. When I was aged 9, my family moved house from England to Scotland, and then back to England, when I was aged 13, so I knew the impact of the difficulty in finding friends and trying to fit in, but I had not considered the solution…. “It just happened.” A little bit like asking someone why they are so good at sport, and they don't always have the answer.

What is a friend?

In the work that I do to help others make positive changes in their lives, I come across people who are lonely, feel they don’t fit in, or don’t know how to make (and keep) new friends. Firstly, defining friendship is not always easy. It is subjective, to describe what makes a good friend. What makes a good friend in your opinion? What meanings do you hold about friendship? What would “being a good friend to someone else” look like to you? It varies so much from one person to another, often depending upon our own experiences, whether positive or negative, confusing, or straightforward.

Working therapeutically in schools over many years, I would often meet children in my therapy room, who would describe feeling isolated, different, unpopular, lonely, or confused about how to interact with their peers. Some of this may have been related to the characteristics associated with autism spectrum related conditions , where social communication and social interaction difficulties are present. Not only is this isolating and confusing for the child who cannot find friends, but also for their caregivers who agonise over why their child does not fit in, and rarely gets invited to parties or sleepovers. This lack of childhood friendships may lead to low self-esteem, withdrawal, lack of social skills, and potentially low confidence when trying to make friends in adulthood.

How do I build friendship connections?

Friendships do not just happen. Something connects us in the first place, or we seek to find that common ground, our similarities, or our differences. The friendship is built later, over time. It takes hard work and commitment on both parts (as with any relationship of any meaning). We have to give and take, compromise, and take an interest in each other. Good friends will tell you the truth, accept you as you are, and will want what is best for you. Friends are the people we can be ourselves around. They will help you navigate good and tough times in your life and support you through challenging times.

“Friends are those rare people who ask how we are, and then wait for the answer”

(Quote: Ed Cunningham).

Ways to help you to feel more connected to others:

Volunteer
Join a class/group
Walk a dog (either you own dog, or someone else’s)
Smile at others
Start a conversation
Be your true self
Listen. (really listening means putting your phone away, being interested, and dropping your own agenda)

Social media plays a huge part of our everyday lives today, and many young people and adolescents prefer to make online friends, either due to their circumstances, or because they may find it easier. Whilst online friends cannot physically hug you (which may or may not be your preference), or comfort you in person, they can still provide companionship and support, laughter, and empathy. You might think this is better than having no friends at all.

If we do have the necessary skills and the courage to make friends, friendship can bring so many rewards. We learn about various aspects of ourselves through our friends, and share laughter and tears, which improves our psychological well-being. Friends can enhance your life, as well as provide comfort and support (especially as we age, suffer hardship, struggle in health, or face the loss of someone we love).

If you are reading this, and realising that this is not your own experience of friendship, or questioning the quality of your own friendships, (because being with the wrong friends can be just as detrimental as not having friends), then talking to a Therapist can help. Making a better understanding of self, and where you might be going wrong, or choosing the wrong friends, as well as learning how to foster better relationships. A therapist can help you to look at any fears of rejection, people-pleasing, and your need to be accepted. The therapeutic relationship models how trust plays such a key role in being able to make better connections, be honest with oneself, and build hope for future relationships. Please don’t hesitate to reach out for support by getting in touch with Beverley at Changing Seasons Counselling.

If you are struggling to form friendships, please reach out for support by contacting Beverley .

Navigating Empty Nest Syndrome

Wed, 05 Oct 2022 12:51:32 GMT

As Autumn now arrives, the season brings inevitable changes. The new term signifies big change for young adults leaving home to start university. Empty Nest Syndrome will be experienced by all parents eventually, whether it is when their child leaves home to study, or when it is time for them to join the real world, move in with a partner, or become independent in their own home.

What does empty nest syndrome feel like?

When children “fly the nest”, this can be a distressing time for parents having to say goodbye to their last child, leaving residual feelings for them of having “done their job”. This can bring a mixture of emotions; sadness, loss, and emptiness, as they come to terms with seeing their offspring take the next steps in their lives, without them. This was particularly true after the pandemic , during which time closer bonds with their children were formed during lockdown.

There may be guilt from a parent who doesn’t feel they fulfilled their role well, or been involved enough. The main carer may struggle with a loss of their role, after so much emotional and practical investment, or feel fearful about what their new purpose will be for the future, or uncertain about how the next phase of their own life will look.

This loss may feel similar to the stages of grieving, and working towards acceptance is a large part of the healing process. It should be acknowledged that this is a substantial life change, and it can take time to accept the changes.

You may experience tears. That’s okay, change is scary, but it’s a natural part of the process, so give yourself permission.

Emotional waves of empty nest syndrome

I remember so clearly how I missed my son’s humour, our banter, the loud music coming from his room, his help with anything “techy”, and his companionship. The huge impact of my son leaving home was so unexpected, and temporarily de-railed me more than I could have imagined. It took about 2 months to finally stop crying, but this will vary for each unique relationship.

Eventually, when the tears dry up, there may be an awakening of hope and freedom, when you come to realise there is life outside of parenthood. You will now have extra time to do the things for yourself that you sacrificed for your children. Free weekends will mean more “you” time, and mealtimes will start to feel less stressful (and less costly!). There may now be more time and energy to renew friendships, find new challenges, or discover new things, such as travel, career opportunities or new hobbies. Try to stay positive, and build new routines. Keeping in touch with your child (don’t pester them too much) will help you stay connected, and you will eventually find ways to build an even stronger relationship with your child.

After all, the job of being a great parent is to navigate your child through childhood to become self-reliant, autonomous adults. You are not redundant; they will still need your support through life.

Coping with empty nest syndrome

Support can be accessed from a partner, an understanding friend, family member, or by talking to a Counsellor . Talking through feelings of letting go can be helpful. Sometimes, when the dynamics in the household have changed, relationships may feel different, and you may even find that you and your partner are struggling. Couples counselling can really help to support you both through this changing time, and offer strategies for strengthening your relationship.

If you are navigating empty nest syndrome, please don’t hesitate to reach out for support by contacting Beverley .